subota, 11. ožujka 2017.

Asking the right kind of questions (it is time for a body perception talk) / Pitanje pravih pitanja (vrijeme je za priču o percepciji tijela)


Recently I wrote a post (here) where I explained why I initially hesitated to write about body perception but decided that I need to do it anyway. Yes, I was getting pretty tired of all that 'body' talk. I was getting tired of hearing how everyone finally managed to embrace their body. I was thinking, yes, that's great, but why I have to be hearing about it all the time? Why don't I ever hear stories about people who managed to increase their IQ? Why I don't hear stories about people who learned how to accept some personality traits of theirs? How they learned to embrace and understand people whose personality is different that theirs? Then I realized that I was wrong. I was wrong to ignore this subject. Because there is this burning issue with body perception and we can't just ignore it. It is something that is having a huge impact on everyone. That got me thinking.

All those movements for body positive perception may actually be needed. On the other hand, I do think we shouldn't define ourselves by the way we look. I felt like a lot of stuff that was being called body positive was in fact body obsessed.  So, I wasn't sure what to think when it comes to the need to talk about body perception. It is pretty obvious why we should never ever ever define ourselves solely on a basis of certain physical characters- for start it is incredibly limiting. We're more than bodies, everyone should be able to agree. That's all fine as a statement but I realized I can't just leave it at that. Because there were all these issues my mind kept referring me back to.

As much as I believe that we're often asking the wrong kind of questions and that we primarily need to identify ourselves as complex creatures that have intellectual, emotional and creative needs, I've grown to realize that we do need to talk about body perception. We need to start asking the right kind of questions. Understanding that this is a complex question is a good place to start. If people need to do whatever they need to do to accept their bodies, let them do it. I mean as long as what they are doing is legal and they are not harming anyone else. Let's be a bit more understanding towards each other and a bit less judgmental. Let's be wise enough to realize that the connections between our body and our personality are often quite complex and are not something that can easily be ignored.

Today I'm sharing some of those thoughts and questions that have been on my mind lately. So, here is a quick list of questions and answers, that will be followed by a longer essay in which I plan to clarify my present thoughts concerning this topic. The essay part will be very long, so to get the main points, you can read the pink part. (In the meantime I elaborated on the pink part, so I don't know what to say to you now because since the pink text has been updated it is quite long now. If you want a very quick summary it would sound something like this: 'It is never alright to criticize anyone's body (including your own). Your body is the only one you're going to get, so take care of it but don't forget there are others things in this world apart from that '. That was pretty short, wasn't it? Don't say I can't summarize things.:)



- Why is it never o.k to criticize someone for the way they look?

Because the way people look is up to 80  percent determined by their genetics. We don't have a complete control over the way we look. Everyone's body is a complex biological mechanism. Yes, it is possible to alter our appearance with a series of procedures, but some things can never be changed and many people end up messing their health playing with diets and what not.  Let us ask ourselves why we should feel we need to change anything in the first place? Why do we define ourselves by our looks? If a pack of chimpanzee can treasure one other for their intelligence and survival skills, why can we? If birds can choose their males according to the art exhibition they put forward (I'm not making this up, there is an actual bird spices that does this, the males prepare an art exhibition composed of various installations and the females pick the most creative ones for their mate). If animals can cherish other characteristic besides the body and the physical appearance, why can't we? 

To conclude, we may not control our looks, but we do have a control over our thoughts and our moral development. We should try to develop as healthy  relationship with our bodies as we can. I happen to think that we should nurture a natural and positive relationship not just towards our own body but towards the bodies of others. I'm pretty sure that people who feel need to criticize other bodies have some hidden issues. It simply can't be normal to hate someone for the way they look. It makes no sense. No sense whatsoever. It makes no sense to assume that someone's personality, work ethics or morals can be connected with their weight.

- Why we shouldn't hate our bodies? 

Because this is never a healthy thing to do. Because our body is not something we can choose. We are born into it and we should take as good care of it as we can. We shouldn't feel guilty if for some reason we don't have the time to look the way a professional bodybuilder looks like. If you just take a look at professional athletes, you will see that they too come in all shapes and sizes (just like regular people). Sport is not just about bodies, it is about passion, dedication and to some extent- even talent. Many famous athletes have had and still have serious health problems. Their bodies are not perfect and they know it but they don't care about it because they know that the spirit is just as important. We should understand it too. There are other things besides the body. Ironically, a lot of people take better care of their cars then their bodies. They take their cars to mechanics regularly, observe it carefully for any signs of malfunction and yet at the same time they completely ignore the signals coming from their own bodies. We live in a time when everyone is obsessed with the perfect bodies, but people still don't feel comfortable listening to their bodies. They prefer pain killers to doctors appointments, they dread hospitals and are terribly afraid of any illness. 

The moral of the story? Hating our body won't get us anywhere. Completely ignoring it is not a good idea either. The reason why we shouldn't hate our bodies is simply because we can't do without them- in this world anyway. Nobody invented a way to transfer our brains into computers yet. Our bodies need us and we need our bodies. It is true we can't choose them, but we can love them and we can remember to keep in mind all the things we can choose. We  can choose what kind of person we will become. We can better ourselves by making the correct moral choices. We can lower ourselves by making the wrong kind of choices. We can cut ourselves from others with our actions. We can open ourselves towards others with our actions. Either way, we can neither control will someone like us or not, nor will someone find us attractive or not. No matter what your health status is, no matter what your size is, or how different you might feel you look from everyone else, you should never feel like you're not worthy of love. If you know how to love others, you're worthy of love. End of story. 



- Why do we need to stop confusing obesity and anorexia with body types?

Because it is dangerous to confuse the two. Obesity is not a body type. Some obese people say it is but it is not.  If someone is obese, it is not because they have a certain body type. It is either because they have a serious health problem of some kind or because they don't have a good correlation between their calorie intake and the amount of calories they're spending. Genetics can also play a part in obesity, but it is important to understand that obesity is nothing something that is completely determined by genetics. Obesity is a serious problem, it causes various health problems and often  it  kills people. Not that this fact gives anyone a permission to criticize obese people for the way they look. 

Fat shaming won't help anyone to fight their obesity (that is my opinion anyway and I already explained my point of view when I answered the first question). Similarly, if someone is anorexic, it is not a body type. Criticizing naturally thin people for being thin and convincing them they need to gain weight to be healthy is crazy. A lot of people criticize others because they have a certain body type. Having a fuller body type doesn't mean that someone is overweight. I don't know why it is so hard for people to understand there are different body types. It is elementary biology. Human species has involved to be diverse. There is such a thing as diversity between animals as well. Recently, I watched a documentary about a chimpanzee alpha male that formed the largest ever pack of chimpanzees. That guy was tiny, he was a lot smaller than any other male chimpanzee in the pack, yet he rose to rule them all. If chimpanzees can figure out that intelligence has nothing to do with size,  why can us humans? Why do we have to cast judgement based on the way someone looks all the time? 








To be frank, I think that many people went out their own frustrations in disguise of  'trying to help'. People body shame slim and skinny people on daily basis, telling them they need to put on weight or telling them they look anorexic. You can see this on the example of perfectly healthy people who happen to be naturally thin. Often they're criticized for promoting anorexia and so on. Are people who are criticized them really concerned for their health or they're just venting out their frustrations? Most likely the latter. The same applies to fat shaming that is also very present, especially in the media. Often people whose weight is normal and whose IBM is perfectly healthy are being called fat and 'bad role-models'. Many women starve themselves and cause themselves health problems because they falsely believe they're overweight. Not having a tie gap doesn't mean you're overweight, ladies. Having hips is normal. Most women have them. I don't see why hips are suddenly a health hazard. Women whose body types create an illusion of 'fullness' and 'roundness' are constantly being questioned for what they eat and how they behave. This situation is really getting out of control. As much as I do feel there is too much emphasis put on body perception these days, I'm afraid it is being talk about in all the wrong ways. That basically means we don't have enough body perception talk. Body positive movements are great, but we really need to really get to the core of this problem.






 There are many stereotypes that attach themselves to the way people look. Perhaps we will never combat them all, but there are things that we as society can do. We can stop saying hurtful things to complete strangers. We need to stop pretending we know everything about everyone. You can't always tell is someone is overweight or underweight by looking at them. Even if you are a psychologist or a physician, you are likely to do some tests before you come to a certain solution. Doctor use a complex set of procedure to arrive at a certain diagnosis. If doctors, with all their training and education, need time and a series of text to establish someone's health status, why do we feel like we can make those kind of judgement in a blink of an eye? We can't, it is not that simple. I often hear doctors say that every patient is different. When I did my check ups last time, that was what my doctor was trying to explain to the young students. Every case is different. Every body is different. That's not so bad. It just means we have to keep an open mind. Doctors understand this. Their job is largely based on following (medical) procedures, yet they do understand the need for creative thinking. Why can we more like them? Why can't we realize their is nothing wrong with being unique? 











Casting judgement based on the way people look is wrong. For example, there are many reasons why someone might look or be skinny. First of all, it might be a genetic thing. Secondly, they might be tall. What makes tall people tall are longer extremities. So, tall people usually have longer extremities thus they appear thinner. Thirdly, they might have a health problem, for example IBS disease of some sort that makes it impossible for them to gain weight.  What if they really do have anorexia? They might actually be a recovered anorexic who will never be able to put weight on because their body has been thus far affected by the disease. They might be someone who is suffering from anorexia at that moment. If that is the case, how exactly will making them feel bad about their body help? Do you really think that a person who is suffering from such a difficult and complex illness as anorexia needs insults and body shamming from perfect strangers? As if that is going to help. On the other hand, people who have a fuller figure often get called fat. I mean, even if a person is overweight or obese, that doesn't give anyone right to criticize them for the way they look. We need to understand that criticizing others for the way they look is never alright. Never. We need to understand that you can't guess someone's health status just by looking at a person. A person's health status can be diagnosed, it can't be guessed and it can only be diagnosed by a specialist. We need to understand that 'being healthy' does not mean belonging to a certain body type. We need to understand that mental health is just as important as physical health. We need to understand that those two are often connected. It is wrong to body shame others. It is also wrong to body shame ourselves.








                               All drawings (in case you couldn't tell) are mine. Medium: markers on paper.









63 komentara:

  1. Excellent post (as always)! Have a great weekend! xx

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  2. Ciao mia dolce Ivana,
    Ancora una volta mi hai sorpreso, hai un talento incredibile.
    Un bacione
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary - Fashion blog

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  3. I like to read your words! I'm agree with them! I also loved the illustrations, the colors are very beautiful!

    P.S. I've have a prize for you in my last post ^^

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  4. I liked this subject of your post, Ivana. I myself did some posts on 'loving and accepting your body as it is.' On a serious note, I have always loved my body- just the way I have been, or I am at present. After two pregnancies my body has undergone drastic changes and it might be ugly for many of my friends and strangers; but it is just me who knows the kind of pain my body has gone through and I can never explain it to others. So I LOVE my body for all that it has done for me and for helping me deliver two healthy kids.

    I might be having an ugly body for others, but I love myself and I trust my body that it will be always with me for any kind of changes I would undergo- any day. We should feel inspired by seeing "perfect-shaped" modelsand or celebrities but we shouldn't be obsessed with doing everything and anything to get that shape. Stay healthy and fit and love the way you are.

    Nice points that you have mentioned above.
    xo

    www.thepositivewindow.com


    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. you have the right kind of attitude. Staying healthy is more important that getting a certain body shape.

      Izbriši
  5. I like your style.
    Great pictures.
    Would you like to follow each other?
    Let me know on my blog.

    OdgovoriIzbriši
  6. So nice!
    Have a great week-end!
    Gil Zetbase

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  7. So beautiful!
    Such unique collage and color combination...love the work!
    Have a great weekend!!

    XX

    http://fetish-tokyo.blogspot.com/

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  8. perfect!
    NEW BLOG ! please follow me : YOUNG BLOG

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  9. Dear Ivana, you are true artist! Like this photos a lot!
    It's wonderful! Love it!

    Visit me, and Follow, by Gothic

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  10. Hey, lovely blog!
    Wanna follow each other??
    Let me know if you want because i want it too :) Leave a comment on my blog and I'll follow you directly, don't forget to follow mine
    xoxo, Sylvi Gautama
    SYLVI SAYS HELLO | INSTAGRAM

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  11. Ivana, you are so right! There are so many variables to why a person looks the way they do. Some people are so quick to judge and can be unkind. We live in a very mean spirited world. It can be very cruel.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  12. Ma sve to s tijelom je postalo iskarikirano. Kao da se moramo opradavati uvijek nekome, ili se ima previše kila, ili premalo, kao da se svijet vrti oko nečijih mjera.Osim toga, kao što si rekla, pa ne radi se uvijek o jedenju i nejedenju, i ne sviđa mi se ignorancija kad ljudi gaze po drugima, samo da iskomentira, često i zločesto.
    Kako smo toliko zapeli na pitanju kila, a ne pitanju pameti, evo ni ja ne znam.

    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. baš tako, dovedeni smo u situaciju da se moramo opravdavati ako izgubimo ili dobijemo koje kilo- a kome se to ne događa? Zločesti komentari postaju jedan veliki problem.

      Izbriši
  13. I think you raised some really interesting points! And I'm glad that you pointed out that obesity/anorexia aren't body types and shouldn't be confused with them :) Obesity is really becoming a problem and I think that a lot of people are using it as an excuse and no one can really say anything different because it's seen as fat shaming :)
    I also agree that we shouldn't let how we look define who we are. And there definitely needs to be more emphasis on IQ and making yourself a better person etc :)
    Also, your illustrations are lovely! I like the use of green :) xx

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    Odgovori
    1. There is true too! Obesity and anorexia are very serious issues and we should approach them accordingly.

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  14. meraviglioso questo ritratto, sempre il TOP tu
    nuova recensione <<< Dolce&Gabbana collezione makeup Tropical Spring 2017 >>>
    buon inizio settimana, un abbraccio

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  15. Thanks a lot :D

    OMG so incredible and truth words. I'm totally agree with you!!

    NEW DIY POST | Hand to Support Rings.
    InstagramFacebook Oficial PageMiguel Gouveia / Blog Pieces Of Me :D

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    Odgovori
    1. thank you dear Miguel:). I'm happy to hear that you agree.

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  16. Buon inizio settimana tesoro mio
    un bacione
    Maggie Dallospedale
    Indiansavage.com

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  17. Bellissimi questi disegni, poi il verde è anche un colore di tendenza in questa primavera, quindi tutto più che azzeccato! :)
    Bacione e buona giornata! :*
    Luna
    http://www.fashionsnobber.com

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  18. Jao, ja bi mogla knjigu napisati o svim situacijama u kojima su mi razni ljudi govorili da sam premršava, da ništa ne jedem, da sam ko čakčalica itd. i dok sam bila mlađa, pokušavala sam objasniti da mi je čitava obitelj mršava i da genetski nisam mogla ispasti drugačija, da imam strašno brz metabolizam, da bez obzira na to koliko svih dodataka prehrani probam i dalje ne mijenjam kilažu - doslovno godinama i da sam općenito sva sitno građena (visoka sam 1,68). Ali neki čuju samo sebe i misle da su popili svu pamet svijeta pa sam u jednom trenutku rekla da se više nikad nikome neću opravdavati, sjećam se da sam jedne godine iz protesta kupila oversized majicu s velikim natpisom 'I love my bones' haha :)

    A smiješno je što se preokret dogodi svaki put kad netko od tih dušebrižnika sjedne sa mnom u restoran i onda mi gleda u tanjur i šokirano ponavlja 'isuse pa koliko ti možeš pojesti.' - na što ja više ni ne odgovaram jer ne znam kako bi radila ovaj prvenstveno fizički zahtjevan posao da sam gladna. Ali ljudi više vole suditi vanjski izgled nego pričati o intelektu...nažalost.

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    Odgovori
    1. Ma sva ta napadanja više mi idu na živce. Nitko ne zna upitati kako si?, nego samo jesi li se to udebljala? jesi li smršavila? Koliko jedeš? Što jedeš? Ako nismo mi sami tema, onda raspravljaju o nekom drugom, je li se on udebljao ili smršavio, je li mu to dobro...više mi je muka od svega toga. O intelektu se skoro nikad ne priča. Zamisli da u časopisima za žene umjesto svih tih dijeta i jedno te istih tema obrađenih tisuću puta, postoje članci o ženama koje su zadovoljne svojim životom i nekakvi njihovi savjeti, korisne informacije, kao one o radu raznih udruga, kulturnim događanjima itd....Ne, uvijek je vijest je li slučajno neka glumica dobila ili izgubila koje kilo i je li se obukla prikladno svojoj građi- kao da je neka građa neprikladna. Što bi se sada osobe koje su malo mršavije ili punije građe trebale zamotati od glave do pete da im se ne nadziru slučajno njihova građa ispod odjeće. Smiješno.

      Izbriši
  19. You make a very good point when you suggest a lot of 'body positivity' is bordering on 'body obsession'. I completely agree with you that hating our bodies will get us absolutely nowhere - if someone is determined to do something, instead of hating their figure, exercising would be a better way to spend the time :) Lovely post Ivana!

    aglassofice.com
    x

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    Odgovori
    1. you're right. Moderate exercise is a very healthy activities that benefits both the mind and the body. It is certainly a better thing to do than to spend time daydreaming about some impossible 'ideal' body.

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  20. Unfortunately it seems that more and more the image is everything! I understand you! xx
    Coco and Jeans by Marisa x My Instagram x My Bloglovin

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  21. Such an interesting post, darling, and one I can relate to so much. I have struggled with my body image ever since I can remember. I have been all shapes and sizes, tried countless diets, went through bulimia, binge eating disorder (which I still struggle with to this day) and honestly I don't think that there has been a single point in my life where I would just be 'happy' with how I look. Funnily enough, the most bullying I have ever gotten for being 'fat' was when I was at my lightest, but also very young - kids can be cruel.

    Personally, I think it's disgusting how much people care about other people's bodies, and how easy it is for other people to fat or skinny shame, and pass judgement on someone else's looks. Like, why? How is it anyone's business? It just frustrates me to the core because I have experienced so much of that myself, and also have seen other people - beautiful people - be completely brought down by hate comments, snide remarks, etc. I think that our current social media dominated culture really enables that sort of disgusting behavior. I am a curvy girl myself, and to be honest, I can't remember the last time someone commented negatively on my looks or figure in person. It's only ever online comments, and it's usually from people who are miserable and lack self-confidence themselves - it makes them feel better to bring someone else down, which is just sad. What gives anyone the right to call someone too fat, or too skinny? Like you said, a person's weight isn't always down to them, it could be genetic or some other kind of issue. That girl that someone called fat could have just lost 50 pounds and is feeling great about herself, so why bring people down? It never achieves anything, and no, you simply can't skinny or fat shame someone into looking different.

    At the end of the day, I am all for improving yourself and changing things if that makes you happier with your body. But the truth is, nothing happens overnight. No one can lose 20 pounds overnight and instantly look thinner. It's important to embrace what we have in the now, because life is too short and hating your body right now is not going to help you achieve anything. Which is why, for this year's beach holiday I will be wearing a two piece. :) Something that I never ever considered doing before, because I always thought I'd look 'too fat'!

    Ahhh this comment ended up being a little long, haha! Body confidence is something that's very important to me so I always love seeing posts like this. :) Thank you for sharing, darling! I hope that you're having a fab start to your week. xoxo

    Kay
    http://www.shoesandglitter.com/

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    Odgovori
    1. As you know, I don't mind long comments and I read yours with pleasure. You're totally right, nothing happens over night and even if someone wants to change the way he or she looks and even if that someone is doing it for right reasons, for example health, it is still something that won't happen over night, so he/she should learn to be loving and accepting of his/hers own body in the process.

      ...and commenting other people's bodies is so rude. When we talk about other people's bodies, we should always be mindful of our words. We should choose words, even when what we want to say is positive....and I do believe that negative comments about anyone's appearance are simply not acceptable.

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  22. Ho letto il tuo post e lo trovo molto interessante, condivido in pieno tutto quello che hai scritto.
    http://www.imperfecti.com/

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  23. Good post, Ivana. It has become an obsession, at least that's mho. As I already said the last time, everyone should be treated with respect, because that's what everyone deserves. Wishing you a happy and blissful new week, girl.
    xox
    Lenya
    New update: : : Sweater Girl : :

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  24. Great piece! This is a subject I could go on and on with. It's as complex as it is sad. And it's definitely getting out of hands. There's also the racial aspect of it which I'll touch in a bit.

    With bodies as a trend and people particularly feminine presenting women trying to obtain certain looks whether it is the extreme hourglass figure or obsessing over weight for the perfect athletic and toned figure , people are literally picking away or adding on their bodies as clay that you can mold excessively.

    Not to generalize, but I think most times there's an obsession with the body because there is a dislike rather than working out or eating nutritiously because there is a love for ones body and a desire to fill this temple with love. In other words, my observation is that body relationships are very superficial and while there is nothing wrong with wanting to put in work for that body you have always dreamed of , I think excessive attempts to "fix" your body or obtain a "perfect" body especially if it's in response to how 'others' view you could be harmful.

    For instance, if you don't reach that goal you dream of, suddenly your perception of your body is dark. Or if one is trying to obtain a perfect body whose standards is that falling into? The criticswhise views and opinions don't count? That make rude comments about others' to make themselves feel good? Or simply how much negative energies is one calling to themselves when they look in the mirror and only see things they need to fix?

    I don't mean to invalidate different capacities such as body dysmorphia which is very real, but rather for those of us who constantly spend time pointing out all the things we don't like about ourselves or our bodies cos of societal demands instead of soaking up the love and adoration for the uniqueness of our bodies or the quirky things we like about it , that is a lot of self-deprivation. Of course I think that many of us , myself included, are susceptible to those thoughts especially when it has always been the case to glorify certain figures while demonizing others.

    For instance, In this era, what gets to me is watching how non- POC (people of color) get praised for their curves whether it is natural or bought such as the Kardashians.

    Their bodies become the symbols of "sexy" , "gorgeous", "thick", "toned" and the goals that many pursue or desire when if you take a step back into history, women like Sara Baartman were put in human freak shows shown around Europe where people could look in disgust and amazement at the anomalies of her figure: big hips, large breast, and of course, her butt that was always presented in drawings as very protrusive and enlarged.

    Females of certain races who do have curves are eroticized and fetishized- for instance, tropes such as the "sexy Latina". However, when you look at perceptions of black femininity which has always been extremely hypersexualized as these bodies --dating back to the colonial era-- have been figured as sexual excess and anomaly, are still seen like that to this day (Anne McClintock, "the Imperial Leather).

    So black bodies are not necessarily glorified in the same way. Yeah, there are some exceptions in the celebrity world where people like Beyoncé or Rihanna are celebrated for their sexiness or beauty, but people like Kim Kardashian has literally made her career off of her body which is simply not an extension to many black identifying people.

    My point is: body types and trends around bodies are most definitely racialized. All this to say, relationships to our bodies are no longer simply our own and that is going to be the hardest task--honoring how one feels about their own body without the perception of the social world and only the consideration of health and self-acceptance/love.

    Pls excuse typos, imbon my lunch break typing hurriedly 😩😩.

    Have a great week darling!

    http://www.fashionablyidu.com/

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    Odgovori
    1. I do agree that excessive efforts to get a certain body can be harmful for one's physical and even more importantly psychological health...like life isn't stressful enough for all of us! We really need to stop tearing ourselves apart for the way we look. Life is not a game and if we ruin our health we might not get a second change.

      Yes, black femininity has always been hyper-sexualized...Unfortunately, this backward way of thinking dating back to colonial types is still present in the media.

      It is also true that curvy body types are hyper-sexualized...many startlets have played a bit part in modern day sexualization and objectifying of women...Often they present this idea that it is o.k to treat women like objects and they make tons of money from it. The worst thing is that many young girls identify with them.

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  25. I love your posts, dear Ivana, and the way you think, always so deep, always great! It's true that we are not only bodies, actually mainly not bodies, but as I like to say, bodies that we asked to borrow, to be able to live life with all the things it has - ups and downs - through our bodies. We need them for our souls. And we can't control how we come to earth, 80% is genetics. Some people treat cars and other things better than their souls, let alone their bodies. We need to treat both parts well - body and soul. True as well, that people tend to judge and we shouldn't do this. We never know what the person is going through. And only seeing what's outside tells a lot about a person's character. We need to see that what people judge is what the media wants us to accept - only tall thin people are worth, but being short and chubby is a characteristic, not a flaw or quality. Loved the illustrations as well! Hope you have a very beautiful week, dear Ivana!
    DenisesPlanet.com

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  26. Excellent points. I particularly like the first paragraph where you wondered why we were so body-obsessed and wondering why we couldn't improve our brains etc. Very true but at the same time, all the points you raised about not bodyshaming and all that are very important. xx

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  27. Drago mi je da si pokrenula i ovu temu jer nam treba malo više te otvorenosti ljudskog ima i malo više puštanja ljudi da žive svoje živote u svojim unikatnim telima i ostalim karakteristikama. Posebno mi se svidelo poređenje o čuvanju automobila. Po istom principu funkcioniše i telo. Ako ne ide na preglede, ako ne unosi pravi "benzin" za sebe, logično je da ima kraći vek trajanja. Ali isto tako, ako neko vozi najnoviji Mercedes, ne znači da treba da se podsmeva nekom polovnom autu. Možda je ovaj stariji i polovniji prevalio lepšu kilometražu od onog što ne sme da dobije ni jednu ogrebotinu. Ja možda živim u nekoj utopiji, ali generalno ne razumem ljudsku zlobu, podsmevanje, negativne kritike. Kao da je taj teko ko tako postupa savršen. Čak i da jeste, to mu ne daje za pravo da omalovažava druge. Ja sam npr. relativno visoka, vitka po genetici, imam jako brz metabolizam i šta god jela ili ne, jednostavno se ne gojim. Možda bi neko rekao da sam srećne ruke, možda i jesam, ali ipak će se naći pametnjaković koji će mi reći da sam mršava. To je naravno uvek neko ko ima višak kg, ali koje ja naravno nemam nameru da komentarišem, niti ću sad da patim što neko ima veće grudi od mene ili da se podsmevam onome ko ne može da uđe u farmerke iz srednje škole. Isto tako mnogi ljudi dalju sebi za pravo da govore drugome šta i kako, a ne shvataju da to može da povredi osobu i na nekom dubljem nivou, naročito ako neko zaista ima poremećaj poput anoreksije. Ni višak kg, ni manjak istih nisu u redu (mislim onda kada je zdravlje ugroženo), ali to treba da reši sama osoba koja je u problemu, a ne neko treći. Imam drugaricu koja ima sličnu visinu i težinu kao ja, a deluje dosta veće jednostavno jer sam ja sitnije građe nego ona i to niko nije birao. Bilo bi lepo kada bi to neko telo po meri bilo garancija zdravlja, sreće i uspeha, ali nije tako. Ljudi koji omalovažavaju druge na osnovu fizičkog izleda imaju isti nivo zrelosti kao i deca u osnovnoj školi koja zavitlavaju neko dete iz nekog banalnog razloga. I da, sve više mislim da životinje imaju veći nivo svesti od nekih ljudi... Rekla bih još svašta ali mislim da shvataš da se slažemo :)

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  28. gosh, these are many words. but i love your text here. you ask the right questions. it´s no easy to me to understand all of it, but...

    ..." - Why we shouldn't hate our bodies?
    Because our body is not something we can choose." - that´s right my dear. you can only life with your own body and make the best of it. there are people they are dosent matter the right fashion, and they are people they want always wear the right style of fashion.

    it´s always interesting to see, what people make of it. i love the feminin clothing style, so do many other women. but i think it is ok, if women have days were fashion plays no role. slip into a jeans, wear a simple shirt and done. i also have such days.

    bye
    Jennifer
    http://jennifer-femininundmodisch.blogspot.de/2017/03/chic-auer-haus-strick-bolero.html

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    1. thank you dear. I'm glad you liked the text.

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All your comments mean a lot to me, even the criticism. Naravno da mi puno znači što ste uzeli vrijeme da nešto napišete, pa makar to bila i kritika. Per me le vostre parole sono sempre preziose anche quando si tratta di critiche.